In Mind's Eye
by Windswift
Summary: Just how far would you go to make it all worthwhile? How much pain could you stand to see your dreams? After all, Ryou holds more than the Sennen Ring alone. . . Tempting, ne?


In Mind's Eye  
  
Shinju: Yippie, another one-shot angst torture Ryou fic!  
  
Ryou: -_- yay.  
  
Shinju: Wow, do I have nothing to ramble on about up here? Then. . . . I guess we'll just get onto the fic, ne?  
  
Disclaimer: See Kazuki Takahashi. See Takahashi draw. See Takahashi write. See Takahashi own Yu-Gi-Oh. See Shinju write fanfiction. Write, Shinju, write!  
  
My fanart for this fic: http:// www. deviantart. com/ view/ 3934671/  
  
(=0=)  
  
Just how far would you go . . . .?  
  
He rolled the gold orb between his pale fingers, the cool metallic surface warming up at his touch. He couldn't seem to leave his hands idle, as if they mirrored his internal turmoil of unrest; it was as if the debate in his soul was ripping him apart. Even then, it wasn't so much a tearing as it was an eating away, an acid applied to the foundations of his being.  
  
. . . .To make it all worthwhile?  
  
What joy is there in taking a bite of the forbidden fruit if you know the consequences? He'd already seen someone fall. . . . the risks were horrible. To have the sweet taste of the fruit linger just beyond reach in your memory for eternity, those torments burn like the very fires of hell.  
  
Dear kami-sama, life is hard. . . .  
  
Silver bangs danced in the wind, brushing over dark brown eyes, the chocolate orbs clouded in thought. The imperfect sphere continued its haphazard rolling motions between the boy's fingertips. It was sick, the way fate seemed almost to toy with his emotions. However, the more you can endure, the more is asked of you. Maybe he just shouldn't try so hard. . . . then again, he was only barely clinging to his last shreds of sanity.  
  
He sighed softly, an exhale of weariness and defeat.  
  
Why can't it just end. . . .?  
  
Where was his vehemence now, where was his fire?  
  
'But you'll be killed-!'  
  
'I don't care! It's better than being enslaved! DO IT!'  
  
Why did Yami no Yugi have to interfere and 'help,' now nothing good had been accomplished, no real defeats gained, and life was continuing on.  
  
That was the problem with the river of life. If you stopped, it kept flowing until it had washed over and drowned you. This 'cleansing of your soul' was no more than the destroying of it.  
  
But, he was digressing. There were matters at hand that threatened to drown him even further if ignored.  
  
"Why is it a crime to want to see the ones you love?" he wondered aloud, the words aimed at heaven only falling from his lips.  
  
He could sympathize now with the man who had once owned the item in his hands. The fellow had only wanted to see his love, to be reunited with his wife once again. What was so terrible about a real and intimate love that made this wrong? Why was the man being tested? Everyone deserved happiness, and the man had been decent before he'd been driven insane by passion.  
  
Maybe it had been a mercy that he'd inadvertently off-ed Pegasus in the end.  
  
But whatever the celestial logic, he still had witnessed the punishment for Pegasus' deeds. Was it worth making the same mistakes, was it worth the haunting forever?  
  
And that was all the choice came down to. Right or wrong didn't seem to be working rightly in this situation, so they must not apply.  
  
"Okaasan, I don't think any of this is what you had in mind for your son, but can you forgive me, whatever I choose?  
  
"'Mane-chan, why don't angels leave heaven anymore? Why can't I seem to see them? Why does it feel as if I've suddenly gone blind?  
  
"Why can't I seem to understand anything anymore?"  
  
Would this be worth the short moment of flight, however long the fall? After all, one could pretend that the falling didn't matter; it's hitting the ground at the end that's the real killer. Literally and metaphorically.  
  
No, it seemed he would teeter on the edge of the cliff indefinitely, never having made a decision to put his mind at ease. At least the choice this seemed to follow was the reversible one, whereas the other was permanent. Permanent until "freed" by an outside force, that is.  
  
He continued to idly toy with the orb, turning it over and over the same way he was doing in his thoughts. The gold had now warmed up to the temperature of his hands, despite the chill air around him.  
  
It must be getting late. . . .  
  
He stood, placing the sphere back in his pocket, and absently brushed a few strands of silvery hair out of his face. Maybe he'd just go home, bide his time as always, and ignore the choice in the back of his mind.  
  
'Good things come to those who wait. . . .'  
  
Everything is out there, just beyond reach. . . . just beyond touch . . . .  
  
. . . .just beyond sight.  
  
And in the same way would the Sennen Eye return to the depths of the sock drawer of Bakura Ryou, remaining as a hidden double-edged sword of enlightenment.  
  
A symbol of everything just beyond the boy's sight. . . .  
  
(=0=)  
  
Please review! (smiles sweetly) If you liked the writing style, may I suggest reading "Soul's Face"? Yes? Yes?  
  
YES, I SAID!!!!  
  
-Windswift Shinju ((+)~ 


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